Send a De-Gift Today!
What's all this then?
DE-GIFTING.COM is the the economically and environmentally solution to your gift-giving woes.
So how does it work?
First, choose a holiday or gift-giving occasion. Then choose the justification you feel your recipient is most likely to accept. Finally, specify a dollar amount. We'll take it from there, and give you a certificate to print and a paypal link to pay the amount you've selected.
Wait, I have to pay?
Naturally. This isn't about you being a cheapskate, this about making shopping and gifting easy.
And all I get is the certificate?
Technically, the certificate is available before you pay. What you're purchasing is NOTHING, in a per-dollar quantity.
What am I supposed to do with that?
Anything you want. Just like you do with your mile of litter-free highway, your personally named and registered asteroid, your three thousand bees shipped to Africa, or your book of inspirational poetry the clerk tells you is popular this year.
People really do this?
So far, our experience says yes, they do. Thousands of people come for the free certificates every year.
Name 20.
Nope, part of our promise to you is that there's no money meter, no progress bar. We've got loads of Nothing, and after you buy it, it's yours.
What if I want people to know that I'm de-gifting?
Feel free to add our badges or icons to your own blog or website. Click our networking buttons. Or, if you're really feeling committed, customers who have already de-gifted can send a testimonial in to our support e-mail on the contact page.
Do you have a video that explains all this to me?
Yes, yes we do. You can watch it on internet HERE
Was that video expensive?
Hell yes! It cost a TON! All part of doing business on Internet!
What if I want to get something for my trouble?
De-Gifting is really about avoiding the material gobbledegook.
But I NEED an object!
Dare us to send you something. Dares are to take the form of exceptionally large de-gifts.
Like what?
Oh, now you're picky?
Yes.
Okay. There are four price points that will get you something. They're even dollar amounts. That's as much of an Answer as you're getting.
Who are you, anyway? Who who, who who?
We're an enterprising bunch of young Americans. We could be performance artists making a statement. We could be trying to finance a larger project. We could be internet hucksters. Pick whatever reason you like best from the list of Justifications.
Is this all a joke?
A little bit. More like kidding on the square. We're entirely serious about this silly proposition.

added 11/28/08:

What's your return policy?
Because proving a negative is impossible, we are unable to confirm that any nothing you purchase is in its original unused state and condition, therefore all sales are final. you are free to keep any certificates you print. if you are dissatisfied with your purchase, the nothing and associated certificate(s) are certainly transferable (as they're intended to be gifted). you might prefer to resell, or, if you're really into irony, re-gift.
I'm concerned that even though I'm too smart for you, the world at large is not, and will misunderstand you and then be upset that the product provided is exactly as described, isn't this just a cruel existential joke at the expense of the average idiot consumer?
De-Gifting.com does not take such a dim view of its customers. Besides, existential jokes are for everyone.
...or, are they?
I'm looking for a little mexican nada....
we're sorry, but at this time we're only stocking 100% american nothing. despite the popularity of mexican nada, it has yet to live up to our exacting standards of quality. conversely, despite the absurd detail and craftsmanship that goes into french rien, the cost of importing is simply too steep a barrier to be broken at this time. we apologize for the inconvenience.